I remember I was very active on Blogger when I was in my Form 4 back then. I can write all day long until I don't sleep at all. I still can remember how passionate I was even though most of my words won't be seen and my voice won't be heard by others.
After I started my college's life, I quitted blogging because my time were fully occupied by other stuffs. Those stuffs can be either entertaining or meaningless. I am not sure whether it's appropriate to label it as 'meaningless' because it gave me sense of joyful when I am doing it. Happily wasting time is considered meaningful, I guess. No lies, I really like to daydream a lot. In that imaginary's world, I don't have any burden and I can create my own short stories and relive my life for a thousand times.
Time flies, and you might thought that you have changed, but not for me. Something rooted in me will never change. I still enjoy whatever I enjoyed in the past, especially sharing whatever shit I like regardless how people react at it. There are still a bundle of things I tried so hard but I still can't make it successfully. It sounds so stupid like a loser struggling so hard to make things work but she still end up with failure. Did I ever feel shameful on myself or blame myself for not being hardworking or determined enough? Maybe sometime. Most of the time, I am so proud of myself that I still give it a try despite of so many failed attempts.
Just like now, I'm back to writing again even though my English sucks hahaha. I don't really know how did I survive in my career when English is the primary language. Pity my colleagues to tolerate my poor English for most of the time. This is the first post, I don't want to force myself pouring everything out. I just want to let myself know: "I can always do anything I wanted so badly, I can conquer the fear. I don't want to envy others and regret that those could be me."
"Tiffany, don't be fake lah. Your mood swing is so terrible. You are showing that you are damn motivated and possibly you could change the world on the next second. In fact, you're the one who would post "I don't want to live anymore...I want to die" that kind of stories on Instagram, anticipating people show kindnesss to you. "
This is how my two voices fight in my head. In the end, I'm just a human.
I'm done with the thinking time. I am so excited to announce that I am going to own another (this) blog again and I will record my career and fitness (more likely to be losing weight/fat's) journey. Hopefully, I can learn as much as possible and bring a little positive impact to the people surrounding me or anyone who happened to be able to read my future posts.
Ok, bye.
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